I was having a sort of crappy day, despite the fact that I got to sleep in until 10:00 on a rainy morning. Last night was sort of awful. Sometimes I make such stupid decisions.

So I had my three classes - no breakfast and no umbrella. Went to the art studio after classes to print off a costume design rendering for an exhibit the School of Theatre is putting up in the University V-President's office. I love working on their macs - I just feel so artsy. Wish I was more creative in that era so that I could have majored in that...and I would have been in a similar situation upon graduation - no job but lots of inspiration. : ) I'm rambling, but sometimes I wonder what happened to Tom who majored in art in Philly... I think he personified my high school experience. We rode the 'band bus' together and everyone thought we were dating, but he was just the hot Leonardo DiCaprio look alike who didn't really date and I was the sweet girl who loved being single. We were so artsy and critical of life, and it was fun being artsy and critical. I haven't seen or heard from him since graduation - but that was Tom to a 'T', anti-social and distant. He'd rather be sitting at home watching tv than out with friends.

And then I came back here and read an ex-friend's journal. We were always sort of friends - acquaintances. I always felt like she got the impression that I thought I was too cool to be her friend and she hated me for that, but I honestly always thought she was an amazing person. So creative, talented, smart, beautiful, and unique. But we never really hit it off. I think I'll always look back on that time in my life and wish that things could have turned out differently. In so many ways we were so similar and maybe that's what made it so hard. I can only hope that someday we can be on better terms. So I read her journal - not a crime, I hope, and it was so great to see the humanity that each of us has. We are all the same when it comes down to it. We like to divide ourselves into categories or factions, but we all experience the same pains - pains that we desire most to hide.

On a day when I'm hurting and feeling lost it was nice to see that I'm not the only one. We're all hurting because this is life and fallen humanity. And reading her words made me feel a little better.